Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

This blog post by Regina Brett, a noted columnist with Plain Dealer has turned into an nternet rage. I just wanted to share her write up she penned down when she turned 50. This list simply 50 one-liners that ring with familiarity, truth and humour.


"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Shaggy and Me

Friday is my day off from work. But this Friday I had to drag myself up from my weekend sleep/read-a-thon and go out for a work related photo shoot. But it wasn’t a frown I took along with me. T and I drove along to the Qatar Animal Welfare Society’s (QAWS) farm, sporting a huge grin. Reason: We both love and adore animals.

Nestled far away from the crazy city traffic and sky kissing scrappers, the farm seemed like a haven tucked away where everyone loved the other. As we pulled up towards the entrance, I saw ducks and geese walking around; which mind you, is a rare scene out here.
The welcome we got literally shook us up. Shaggy,a three month old pup came bounding and as soon as I bent down to pet him, he showered me with his enthusiastic licks. He clearly showed us how happy and thrilled he was to have someone visit him and play with him. This by far is one of the best welcomes I have ever received, just the kind my little black daschund Pixie (seen in pict); back home, in India gives me. (I will introduce her thoroughly in another entry.)

The QAWS farm is an example to be followed. For a facility started and run by people who have families and babies and a full-time day job, the place is way too clean and hygienic. In-fact, if you ask me, I consider this place to be one of the cleaner animal shelters I have been to. The staff and volunteers are there, giving it their all, and the happy and healthy animals are a testimony to their dedication.
If given a chance I could spend an entire day there without a worry, as the animals shower their undivided affection and attention on you. You can divide your time walking the dogs, socialising with the furry feline creatures, cotton-ball bunnies, ducks, geese, and can also be-friend a possum and a mule -- if they’re in one of their best moods.

For all the joy the place brought us, one poster pinned up on the bulletin board shocked the H*** out of us. There on the poster is a picture of a robust looking black dog. Her name is Bullet. Ask why? She has been shot eight times! Yes, EIGHT times. And still carries around three irremovable bullets lodged inside! (Thankfully they won’t harm her anymore). I can’t even fathom the suffering the poor thing must have been through. And, I can’t even get myself to figure out why somebody would do such a ghastly thing to a harmless, affectionate creature.
However there is consolation, the world isn’t all bad; Bullet is now safe with QAWS and is getting more than her share of love and attention.

The shoot went off well. We all had such a good time. The unconditional love animals shower you with is so fulfilling and untainted. And no matter how badly we wanted to take a dog home, we couldn’t. Our apartment doesn’t permit it, and it isn’t fair to the lovely animal that runs around freely in the farm. However, we’ve decided to make time and spend more of it with the animals at QAWS henceforth. An evening well spent -- as we drove back, still, sporting that broad grin.

At the risk of sounding desperate...Wanted: Friends

Moving to Doha has put T and me in a rather precarious position. We have been in Doha for over half a year and still do not have many friends. Does that sound trivial to you? Or not a matter to be addressed, in a public forum like this one? If so, then I strongly disagree. Could you simply picture yourself and your better half, sitting in a busy restaurant, eating a meal? Pretty romantic isn’t it? But how about increasing the frequency to every weekend, month after month? Hmm...? I rest my case.
By now you must be drawing up conclusions, similar to what I had arrived at too. We are boring people! That’s it. That is what me and T thought and accepted for a while. However we began to think otherwise when we realised that we did have a couple of friends in UAE. So then what is it that went wrong? Me? Him?? Or both of us???
I have finally weeded out all the crazy, zany reasons and have arrived at one assumption, which combines the following –
i) We are married, and
ii) We don’t have children yet.
What? Seems outrageous to you? It isn’t. Think carefully. Single people do not really prefer hanging out with married people. Reasons are myriad and most often then not whimsical. Married people tend to advise single people to get married. Married couples are uninteresting compared to singles. Some married people have this ‘holier-than-thou attitude, even though they weren’t even close to H in Holy, when single. It also annoys single people that a couple always looks so happy and sport that million watt smile through out. So that one reason is justified.
Now the next problem according to me is that we don’t have children, yet. That alienates us from the ‘Bunch with broods’. Parents can bond over a lot. Nappy rashes, school complaints, PTAs, play dates and lots of other ‘Parent-y’ stuff. Parents have a lot of responsibilities and do not hang out late at weekends, or binge booze. So we lose out in that aspect as well.
Now, the next likely question will be? What happened to all the couples still stuck in between ‘Just married’ and ‘Proud parents’? Good question. However that partciluar kind seems scarce. Not a lot of people stall between Marriage and babies, or at least we haven’t been lucky enough to come across some. Hence, that leaves just the two of us. T and me. I sometimes feel this is how it was meant to be. This stage is where you spend most of your time with your partner and grow real close. It's the marvellous time to love, learn and grow till it’s time to graduate to the next level.

Isn’t it cold out there?

I will bet my new Camelskin ( Read:Imaginary) Prada, that a majority of you people are reading this scribble only because it had something to do with the weather. Oh come on, admit it. We all love dissecting the weather.A study conducted by the Institute of Conversational skills vis-à-vis Weather, establishes rather firmly that something like ninety six point eight eight per cent of us mortals break the ice by discussing the weather.Like the other day I shared the lift with a cute, bent old Filipino lady. Smiles exchanged, I began studying the needles of my watch….I think they are little crooked, with the daily wear and tear, you know? And Go! “Isn’t it cold out there?” Enquired my new Lift-Friend. “Oh yes it is”…pat came my reply. “You see I wanted d to go grocery shopping, you see I do it every Thursday. But now this cold is making it difficult to walk around. Now I have to wait for my sister who lives in Bur Dubai to come. She comes to my house on weekends, that is if she is not busy. You know how these hotels jobs are ? So very busy.” All the while I keep smiling along with thinking what information of my life I could possibly share with her in return for a synopsis on her weekend routine and some more info on her kith and kin. In the meanwhile I am aware that this cute lady has her family in Philippines and is going to visit them shortly, precisely on January 24th. Ok, finally the chime rings for the 13th floor and she waves a quick bye. I say bye too and add a See you soon…she holds the door for a moment and says. “It was good talking to you. Really. See you dear.”Now if your wondering where I am heading towards, my point was Thanks to the weather, not forgetting the bitter cold weather, I now have new friend on the 13th level of my building. I gathered she is lonely, and I could do with going over for a hot cuppa-joe. Whaddya say?So no matter what I started out with I am glad I made a new friend…and that too thanks to the weather. So then go ahead discuss the weather. Make a difference to someone’s gloomy evening. Hey, isn’t it really cold today?